I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn’t deserve it. Because they are all you have. Because any attention is better than no attention. For exactly the same reason, it is sometimes satisfying to cut yourself and bleed. On those gray days where eight in the morning looks no different from noon and nothing has happened and nothing is going to happen and you are washing a glass in the sink and it breaks-accidentally-and punctures your skin. And then there is this shocking red, the brightest thing in the day, so vibrant it buzzes, this blood of yours. That is okay sometimes because at least you know you’re alive.

”

— Augusten Burroughs, Running With Scissors.

I hate feelings. Why does sobriety have to come with feelings?

”

—

Augusten Burroughs

I’ve decided I can’t move to NYC because I would become a broke alcoholic, even more so than now. I had a great time, but my body and my bank account will never forgive me. Also, I miss S.